THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY,

as seen in the idiosyncrasies of the English language

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...... floor.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self- help section?"

She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

4. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

5. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

6. Is there another word for synonym?

7. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

10. Should a fly, without wings, be called a walk?

11. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?

12. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

13. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

14. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?

15. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

16. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

17. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

18. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

19. How is it possible to have a civil war?

20. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

21. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

22. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

23. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

24. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?